OMGEE…This the MOST!!! Where to begin…Ok…basically, Hollywood movie star/legend Joan Crawford is dead, and trying to get into heaven…but she is denied at the gate. Some how, she charms the security guard, and is allowed in, on one condition… She has to return to Earth, and save the planet from all these fake-a$$ selfie/social media whores and reality stars. She’s basically on a mission to bring back her glory days, when there were real stars.

This is sooo fantastically layered! Joan has also written a fake autobiography (under the pseudonym L. LeSueur) called Mommie Smearest: See Joan Crawford In Bitch Selfie Ain’t Make You No Movie Star…which is a parody of Mommie Dearest– the memoir/exposé (and movie) written by Joan’s adopted daughter Christina Crawford. In her posthumous version, she has reinvented herself as the rap artist mo.m.m.i.e.D., taking the readers into phony-fabulous locales including Trump Tower, pro-football stadiums, boardrooms, and the New York Times social columns. In between her squabbles and plot twists, Joan offers hilarious flashbacks from her own rich Hollywood life, including a never-revealed (until now!) audition for TV’s The Brady Bunch, and a feature-length lie called Monster Dearest: Keeping Up with the Crawfords, in which Crawford sort of, but not really, explains herself as Mommie Dearest.

You can ACTUALLY buy Joan’s book HERE, and peep a few more juicy deets. In the meantime, check out her first music video as mo.m.m.i.e.D. below (voiced by celebrity impersonator Bonnie Kilroe), and get the single Bitch Selfie Ain’t Make You No Movie Star on iTunes.