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James, between engagements on his Freak Show tour, talks about his hectic, sleepless schedule, which involves talking talking talking about himself. “Do you have a little Chanel author suit?” asks Randy, his voice sexy from laryngitis. Funny he should ask: “There was just a sale at Dior,” says James, launching into a description of the Vivienne Westwood “anus” shirt he bought. Also, James is reading Damage Control to prepare himself should he suddenly be embroiled in a sex scandal. You never know, he sagely informs. Paris Hilton vs Sarah Silverman. Feelings for and about Paris. Stars in prison. Stars in rehab. “It’s a big celebrity colonic,” says Randy. Shirley MacLaine vs Jane Fonda re Lindsay Lohan. The P Diddy song. The new White Stripes. The umbrella song. Enter Fenton, just back from the hospital where he endured being strapped down and having dye injected into his spine and a nerve probed with a long needle. But he is pleasantly horrified to open a package containing the new tell-all book by Ted Haggard’s man whore. The people at Dutton, says James, are so happy with the sales of Freak Show that they’ve invited him over for cupcakes. While in New York, James spoke at the Public Library and wisely met with all the librarians from all the boroughs, one of whom was wearing Dior. The LA Times‘ “Home” section columnist David Keeps suddenly pops into the conference room and for a moment talk turns, as it will when Keeps is around, to spinning wheels, white lacquer, and chintz. Fenton lugs out a heavy swatch of Biba carpeting. Steven’s hair, inspired by Jonathan Rhys Meyers’ King Henry VIII. Oh, that recent scene on The Tudors with the king, the towel, and the page! James does Lindsay passed out in a hoodie. James evades answering where he went after leaving his WOW Freak Show party at 9:30. The Gehry buildings in New York. Lunch with Harvey Weinstein at Mr Chow? Randy discovers that if you want a hit TV show, put “Wife” or “Wives” in the title: The Starter Wife, Army Wives, Desperate Housewives, Footballers’ Wives. The political debates. Hilary Clinton’s face. “Bill Clinton,” says Fenton. “It takes a real man to be a First Lady!”