Worst Trend of the Year

That damned Givenchy nose ring. Sure, when you first see it you think “Oh! Isn’t that marvelous? Like a very chic bull!” And of course no trend should be practical – trends by definition are pointless and senseless and slightly idiotic – but this goes beyond that. I mean LOOK AT IT. You can’t drink a cocktail, do a bump, suck a dick, eat a chicken wing – NOTHING. I imagine by the end of every night it’s been partially ripped out and there are pubic hairs tangled in it and dried blood and sticky stuff all over it. It’s gonna get stuck on your sweater as you take it off, it’s gonna get tangled up in some queen’s wig, some snatchy bitch is gonna rip it out of your nose for giving her the side-eye AND THEN WHERE WILL YOU BE?