Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark is perhaps the scariest made-for-TV movie EVER MADE. OMG- totallytotallytotally. A couple moves into a spoooky old house, see, but what they don’t know is that it’s INFESTED with these horrible little goblins that live in the fireplace flue. I KNOW! TERRIFYING! I dare you to watch the first two minutes and not pee your pants! I’ve slept with the lights on for THIRTY-FIVE YEARS because of this movie. TRUE STORY! Unfortunately, I bring this up because that dreary automaton, Katie Holmes, plans on doing a remake with pretentious/hack director Guillermo del Torro. Please, Hollywood, please stop skull-fucking my precious childhood memories!