High-attitude sickness – In Park City the air has been replaced by buzz as the oxygen of choice. Breathing pure buzz makes you squawk like Donald Duck and flap about. The buzz-starved, on the other hand, tend to become lethargic and morose. Serious loss of self-esteem may follow unless you immediately relocate to lower ground.
Glow job – Smothering someone with entirely undeserved praise in the hope it will get you somewhere better than where you are right now.
Slossed – As in “you’ve been slossed,” coined in the New York Times article after the name of the legal capo who heads Cinetic and who has a virtual monopoly on films at Sundance. There are two ways of being slossed – either as an executive overpaying for a film, or as some sad sack of a filmmaker sitting in a condo waiting for a return phone call from his sales agent that will never come because his film doesn’t have buzz.
Brandance – The brand name hocus pocus taking over the Sundance film
festival, via thejasoncalacanisweblog.
Jettasexuals – The stars, jurists, and filmmakers whisked around in Volkswagen’s fleet of cars. Jettas mostly, but for VVIPS and premieres the occasional Phaeton.
The Village – Well, it’s not really a new word, but it takes on a sinister new meaning at the film fest, where The Village is the name for a cluster of swag houses handing out free stuff to stars. Of course The Village is also the name of M Night Shyamalan’s film. But this spectacle is infinitely more frightening.
Swagqueen – Those who rank top tier and can get anything they want – and take it, even though they neither need it nor want it and could so easily afford it. Marie Antoinettelike, they totter down the steps at The Village carrying more bags than they can carry.
Swaghags – Orcs in deceptively human form who jealously guard the mountains of free stuff. They reserve their fang-bearing smiles for celebrities and ignore everyone else, except to scowl or snarl at them should they be so foolish as to think those Uggs are for them.
Swagabees – Publicists, personal assistants, new best friends! Entourage-ists who hover around A-listers, picking up such swag crumbs as beanies, lip balm, and tsunami aid relief T-shirts in children’s sizes. They are also useful for carrying the bags to the swagon.
Swagon – Four-wheeled conveyance used to haul all the booty away. Interesting fact: A Phaeton had to be despatched to the outlets to purchase three suitcases to hold all the swag that Hobbit Sean Astin had been given.
