All those diet and exercise magazines really DO recycle the same stories OVER AND OVER AND OVER again! And the publishing industry wonders why it’s in trouble. They treat us like idiots, then scratch their heads and ask why nobody’s buying their stuff anymore. Men’s Health editor, the dreamy Dave Zinczenko, tried to hypnotize us with his piercing green eyes when he explained how it happened: “The newsstand coverlines are a tool that help us reach the maximum number of guys possible, on promises we know we’ll fulfill every issue. For many magazines, certain cover subjects — from lines to celebrities — are an important part of their newsstand branding. But for the 80 percent of readers who get our subscriber copies, the lines are totally different and reflect the breadth and depth of our reporting with the 12 million readers we serve each month. Rest assured — it’s this originality and reporting rigor that’s made us the biggest men’s magazine brand in the world.” Dave, honey, you have to kiss us when you fuck us like that! (via HuffPo)
UPDATE: Gawker just showed us that Men’s Health magazine has only been using four basic cover templates since 2004. Over and over. And nobody’s noticed until now. This is just shamefully lazy on Dave Zinczenko’s part. And while not quite on par with Tiger Woods transgressions, he definitely deserves to get called out in the press.