• Up close, Britney Spears has a beer back.
• Nelly Furtado bleaches her eyebrows.
• Lil “Lipgloss” Mama prefers a bag of Doritos over a gourmet buffet.
• Rhianna prefers to eat nothing over a gourmet buffet.
• Gym Class Heroes prefer the open bar.
• Kid Rock throws punches like a girl.
• Akon’s people are very nervous about having their client’s ankle bracelet discussed.
• Robin Thicke’s people are very nervous about having their client’s dick discussed.
• Eve’s people are very nervous that her alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet will not be returned in one piece.
• Britney’s people are fucked.
What Perez Sez …about the VMAs airs tonight at 9PM on VH1. Where else are you going to hear Mandy Moore say “cum-slut”?
– Steven Corfe (front row, far right)