I went to the Clippers game Tuesday night and who should be sitting a row behind me? None other than Mindy Cohn, better known to millions as Natalie Green from TV’s Facts of Life.

Turns out that Mindy is a huge Clips fan. She was wearing a Danny Manning jersey circa ’88, and a shiny red headband. This lady was serious about her team. But in a disturbing way. Like DeNiro in The Fan. Ever see it? Well, I caught 20 minutes of it one time on TNT, and I’ll tell you, it’s not pretty.

Now I don’t mind some taunting and “giving it” to the opposing team, but only if it’s in good fun. This clearly was not on Mindy’s agenda. She incessantly referred to Raptor’s shooting guard Vince Carter as a “big lesbo” and loudly dared the entire Toronto bench to “S my D.”  (I’ll let you figure out that abbreviation for yourself.)

I was flabbergasted. It was horribly offensive. I asked the guy next to me if we should get an usher and he said not to bother, “that’s just Mindy. She’s like this every game.” Mindy Cohn or not, this was out of control, and I decided to throw a couple of well-placed no-nonsense looks her way.

None that could have been read as, “Hey, I recognize you from TV.” They were more, “Watch your filthy mouth, sailor.” But that didn’t stop her. Actually, I think it had an adverse effect and things spiraled out of control. She was now pumped with adrenaline. She wound up on the Jumbotron and did the “Lean Back” dance with fervor. At one point, when the ref had blown the whistle on a questionable foul, a Miller Lite-soaked Mindy officially let loose. She launched into a tirade, called for the ref’s head on a platter and miserably failed at starting a “Rap-tors-Eat-Balls” chant.

I had enough and decided to leave.

I always preferred Tootie anyway.

– Jim Galasso