• Ship sinks in Red Sea, 1,300 aboard.
• California city bans smoking in all outdoor locations, including streets, sidewalks.
• Nick and Jessica secretly dating.
• Die Another Day director arrested for soliciting undercover cop in Hollywood while in drag.
• 80-year-old mauled to death by black bear at petting zoo.
• JetBlue in the red.
• Heather Locklear seeks divorce from Richie Sambora.
• Devious Kama Sutra worm promises sex, destroys computer files.
• Arrgh! Howard Stern’s satellite radio show plundered by pirates.
• Christians upset (when aren’t they?) over upcoming Britney Will & Grace.
• MySpace invaders sexually assault teenage girls.
• Simon Cowell looking for magicians in Vegas (to make him disappear?)
• Irish rocker nags US to help the poor.
• Previews for Lestat, Broadway musical based on The Vampire Chronicles, postponed due to such out-of-town reviews as “didactic, disjointed, oddly miscast, confusingly designed and floundering in an almost unrelentingly saccharine score by Elton John.”