Summer is officially here! How do I know? Because people are really starting to smell outside. And as someone who does not have the genetic necessity to wear deodorant, let me tell you, it’s absolutely awful. I only say this since Steven and I trudged through the hordes of smelly tourists to celebrate with Vanna White her earning a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. We came totally prepped with cameras, cool sunglasses, and even printed out giant letters that spelled out W-O-R-L-D-O-F-W-O-N-D-E-R so we could yell “I’D LIKE TO BUY A VOWEL” and everything.
Of course, the body-odor smell just had to ruin everything. Vanna was surrounded by the same hordes of smelly people we were, so she ended up being miles away and all I could hear was Merv Griffin and Pat Sajak make awful jokes like “Ha ha ha Vanna sure knows the ALPHABET! (ba dum bum)” and Vanna clapping (is that all she knows how to do?) and all I could see was the creepy man next to Steven who looked like he came straight out of some episode of Creep Show and was going to molest both of us with his hook nose and the fat guy’s sweaty back in front of me and oh my gosh, the B.O. was just so overpowering why do people smell so much I can’t breathe someone please save me and take me far away from here I just want to go home mommy where are you
Then I passed out and next thing I know, I’m back at my desk. Crazy!
So congrats to you, V-A-N-N-A.
– Moye Ishimoto
(Photos: Steven Corfe)