Did we learn nothing from the great Kristen Stewart debacle of 2010? In an interview in the upcoming Vanity Fair, Johnny Depp compared having his picture taken with being raped  “Well, you just feel like you’re being raped somehow. Raped … It feels like a kind of weird — just weird, man.” NO, ASSWIPE, HAVING YOUR PICTURE TAKEN BY ANNIE LEIBOVITZ IS NOT AKIN TO BEING SEXUALLY ASSAULTED. Your shallow, super-entitled, princess-and-the-pea-like discomfort is NOTHING AT ALL like being raped, so stop whining about the TERRIBLE PRICE OF FAME you are forced to endure. Shut your mouth and be happy you’re one of the highest paid people ON THE PLANET. Oh, and about those ungodly paychecks? “Basically, if they’re going to pay me the stupid money right now, I’m going to take it,” he tells the magazine. “I have to. I mean, it’s not for me. Do you know what I mean? At this point, it’s for my kids. It’s ridiculous, yeah, yeah. But ultimately is it for me? No. No. It’s for the kids.” Because, yeah, giving your kids hundred million dollar trust funds is SUCH A WISE THING TO DO. Turning them into idle celebrity spawn is REALLY DOING THEM A FAVOR. It seems to me that Johnny is as out of touch as the characters he’s been playing all these years.

UPDATE: RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network) issued the following statement: “While photos may feel at times intrusive, being photographed in no way compares to rape — a violent crime which affects another American every 2 minutes. RAINN welcomes the opportunity to speak with Mr. Depp and educate him about the real life experiences faced by survivors every day, and ways that he can work with RAINN to help.”