Two things Billy Bob Thornton has learned:
• If I want to talk a problem over with someone, I always call a woman.
• Never get a tattoo with somebody’s name on it unless you’re ready to get another one put over it.
Two things Keith Richards has learned:
• Poison’s not bad. It’s a matter of how much.
• Rock ‘n’ roll’s great weapon is humor.
Two things Roseanne has learned:
• Everything is a government conspiracy.
• I’m way funnier in the morning.
Two things Alex Trebek has learned:
• A good education and a kind heart will get you through life in pretty good shape.
• Ours is a quiz show, not a game show.
Two things Faye Dunaway has learned:
• The impulse toward perfection is more important than perfection itself.
• It doesn’t really matter what other people think.
Two things Richard Branson has learned:
• Hire people who will treat the switchboard operator as friendly as they’ll treat the managing director.
• If you’re embarking around the world in a hot-air balloon, don’t forget the toilet paper. Once, we had to wait for incoming faxes.
(From What I’ve Learned… at MetaFilter; t/y Nick)