Two things about royalty pop up this week, both from Popbitch, the weekly gossip newsletter. There’s a rumor going about the UK that Queen Elizabeth might have a serious illness and may be knighting the Grim Reaper very soon. Which, PB explains, is why Charles and Camilla are in such a bloody hurry to get married. Liz would like her House of Windsor to be in order and Charles comfortably seated on the throne before Sir Grim comes at her with a feeding tube.
But even more alarming is this item about a beloved Oscar wiener.
Nicole Kidman is a Fem-bot. [She] has paper thin skin after so many treatments to remove her freckles. Apparently if you press her forehead with your finger it will leave an indent that takes ages to return to normal.
But who would dare to press his finger into her forehead?