NSFW: No, this is not safe for work, or at home alone, or a even gay bar in the West Village! The legendary Lady Bunny paid homage to the birthplace of the gay rights movement at the start of her new show, Trans-Jester. Standing on the tiny stage of The Stonewall Inn she reminded us of the rights we now have because of the brave gay and trans people who fought back against the police in 1969. But in 2016..
“We’ve become so politically correct that they just made Dick Van Dyke change his name to Penis Von Lesbian.”
She’s lucky that the PC Police had no idea what was going on upstairs on Christopher Street last night or we might have all been as busted as Bunny’s makeup. You think THAT’S harsh… (as her contouring?) Oh, you have no idea. That’s nothing. Bunny crossed the line and then stomped on it. And then pooped on it.
There was a lot of ASS talk, at one point singing a new version of Adele‘s Hello with a mic to her butt. She said she wasn’t feeling well recently and went in for a check-up. The doctor told her,
“You know you have a leaf of lettuce hanging out of your ass.“
To which Bunny replied,
“That’s just the tip of the iceberg…“
Speaking of lettuce, she had a series of announcements that the management asked her to read out in the beginning,
“This IS an historic stage. This is where Hedda Lettuce got her first laugh … three weeks ago.”
She gave us a new desperate, horny anthem I Don’t Care (I’ll Suck It! I’ll Fuck It!) which you can see a clip of below and of course, she took the opportunity to let us know her strong feelings about Caitlyn Jenner. These words were sung to the tune of Favorite Things from The Sound of Music, so feel free to sing along;
Surgerized noses and hands big as mittens
Crossdresser voices, crossed legs when I’m sitting’
Hair-covered fore arms, hands too big for rings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Magazine covers in cream-colored corsets,
Painting my face though it looks like a horse’s,
Linebacker shoulders with arms hanging long,
Very tight spanks that are hiding my schlong.
Ripping the seams on the dresses at Dash’s,
Khloe and Kim with their giant fat asses,
Reality shows starring boring old me,
Making a face when they call me tranny.
When the cars crash and I hear screams,
Cuz I drive so bad, I simply remember to just flee the scene,
And then I don’t feel so bad!
She talked about Drag Race and cultural appropriation, saying that RuPaul mentors the up and coming queens on the show, but it was Ru who was her real-life mentor back in the day. Ru turned a baby Bunny on to great disco and black artists from the 70s, which she now spins all around the globe. Was SHE appropriating black culture by doing so, and lip syncing to Thelma Houston? Bunny thinks not,
“I think they’re just happy that another white bitch isn’t playing Taylor Swift!“
There was a (somewhat) serious interlude discussing the word police in the gay community, which I won’t go into here. Taken out of context, it might sound insensitive or mean – but IN context her points were valid and always contained a punchline. She shared her thoughts on “trigger warnings” and all kinds of gender fucked up words, and asked us if she was crazy or what? Well, she IS crazy, but this queen thinks about shit and was asking us to as well.
And speaking of the Police again, this time the Fashion kind, Bunny played the clip of Joan Rivers roasting her for her 50th birthday, while she changed into a float sized wig and caftan for the finalé. And everyone got a bit wistful seeing Joan and there were audible cries shouted to the TV sets,
“We miss you Joan!”
We do. But if anyone is the heir to Ms. Rivers’ no-holes-barred comedy throne, it’s that old queen, Lady Bunny. She takes no prisoners and gives zero fucks. I think Joan would agree.
Trans Jester runs through April 30 at The Stonewall Inn. Go! Get tickets here! But do NOT bring your Mom –that is unless you are Chaz Bono.