Here’s the trailer for Sly Cooper, based on the PlayStation and Sucker Punch character, about an orphaned raccoon thief and his partners in crime, Bentley Turtle and Murray Hippo. Awww. How sweet. Mind you, the movie comes out in 2016. Yes. You heard that right. 2016. It is BARELY 2014 right now. Who the hell needs to see a trailer for a movie TWO YEARS AWAY? Sometimes Hollywood is so idiotic. I can’t even. Will you remember this trailer in 2016? Will you be on pins and needles throughout all of 2015 thinking “OMGOMG I CAN’T WAIT FOR THAT RACCOON MOVIE TO COME OUT!” I doubt it. But who knows. Maybe this is the way of the future. Maybe we’ll start seeing trailers for pitch meetings of movies that might get made sometime in the 2020s. Anyway. I digress. In the film, Sly learns that he comes from a long line of talented, international thieves, and is catapulted into a global adventure. Sly races to reassemble pieces of an ancient book holding the Cooper clan’s family secrets before it can fall into the hands of Clockwerk — an evil metallic owl bent on ending the Cooper family line. I mean. Bleh. WHATEVER. It looks OK, as far as animated movies go. But it didn’t change my life. Which brings me back to my original question: REALLY, BLOCKADE ENTERTAINMENT? A TRAILER TWO AND A HALF YEARS BEFORE THE MOVIE COMES OUT? Stupidstupidstupid. Ruined my whole damn day.
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