If your flux capacitor is up to speed and you’ve found enough depleted uranium to power your DeLorean, you might want to read this rather exhaustive list of time travel dos and don’ts from The Awl before heading off into the time stream for that 17th-century vacation. Examples: “DO be wary of the past. In fact, it’s probably best to avoid going back in time your first few trips out. As enticing an idea as it might be to track down the Buddha or watch Jesus die on the cross, let’s work up to those, okay? Aramaic isn’t exactly going to be falling off your tongue as a beginner. And you’ll find it’s the little things that will cause the misunderstandings that will get you nailed to a cross right next to your pal Jesus.” And: “There are some things in the past you simply cannot prepare yourself for. The smell. The weird diseases. Everyone’s voice seems really squeaky for some reason. And people are really short. Also, this is probably the most surprising thing, it’s practically a 24/7 grab-ass in the past. Man, woman, child. You will get used to it, but it’s initially pretty strange.”