Stream of consciousness as I watch this Hilary Duff paparazzi video.

• Wow. When did Hilary become such hot shit that she merits this kind of frenzy?

• Wouldn’t it be great to have a large black bodyguard to fend off questions. I’d have mine interrupt my mother when she’s gnawing my ear off on the phone. “DON’T ASK THOSE QUESTIONS MA’AM!”

• The poor lamb looks petrified at the airport. Maybe the flashes are burning her face!

• Oooh, isn’t she thin now.

• Wouldn’t it be great to have a large black man to hold my hand at the airport. Sigh.

• Why is the X17 cameraman under some illusion that he’s not himself a “prick”?

• Love the German airport official on the escalator. “MOVE ATTA THA WAY!”

• Would Hilary Duff be a good Halloween costume? Kinda tricky.

• Would German airport official be a good Halloween costume? Kinda niche.

– Steven Corfe