Cee-Lo Green has announced that he will have a new animal sidekick on The Voice next season (don’t worry, Christina Aguilera will still be there). Instead of his cat, he’ll have his Lady, a Moluccan cockatoo. Cee-Lo says, “She’s my little lady with a big opinion. She whispers inappropriateness in my ear, but always ladylike.” What in the? Besides the obvious ridiculousness and turning a singing competition into a three-ring circus about himself, there’s a bigger problem: Moluccan cockatoos are endangered, so the animal rights organization Born Free is asking Cee-Lo to keep the bird off the show. They have two concerns: Moluccan cockatoos are NOT good pets, and they don’t want people to think they are; also, the birds do not handle stress well, and they’re worried the show might cause Lady to harm herself. (She’s not a cutter, don’t worry). Apparently, the birds develop self-destructive behavior in captivity when put under stress. What a dumbass. How ’bout entertaining us with your wit and personality? Is that even an option?