1628 – The Massachusetts Colony was founded. Massholes are born. Boston was incorporated on the same
date nearly 200 years later.
1687 – French explorer La Salle was murdered by his own men
while searching for the mouth of the Mississippi River. He was probably a jerk anyway.
1879 – Jim Currie opened fire on actor Maurice Barrymore,
great-great-something or other of Drew.
1895 – The Los Angeles Railway was established to provide
streetcar access, only to be destroyed 40 years later by Judge Doom and his dip.
1903 – U.S. Senate ratifies the Cuban treaty, gaining a
naval base at Guantanamo. Whoops.
1915 – Controversial planet Pluto photographed for the first
1953 – The Academy Awards were televised for the first
time. Viewers flood FCC with calls
after glimpsing Bette Davis’ ankle.
1964 – Goldfinger begins
production, giving us Odd Job, Pussy Galore and this masterpiece.
1965 – Rembrandt’s “Titus” sells for $7,770,000. If someone can figure out what that
amounts to today I’ll buy them a Coke.
1977- on the same day that France performs a nuclear test at
Muruora Island, the last episode of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” airs. Think about that.
1984 – Thankfully, “Kate and Allie” premieres 7 years later.
1987 – Jim Kakker resigned from the PTL due to one Jessica
Hahn and her giant belt (pictured)
1994 – The largest omelet in history was made with 160,000
eggs in Yokohama, Japan.
2002 – Actor Ben Kingsley knighted by Queen Elizabeth
II. Will only answer to “Sir Ben”
from that point on.