I’m not happy.
This year was meant to be brilliant and wonderful, now less than a week in I find out it’s already turned to hell.
Hayden Panettiere, the pint-sized reason I have to watch Heroes, my future wife, and the as-yet-unknowing mother of my first son Trent is apparently going out with some great big piece of fighting fury from Russia.
She’s barely hitting five foot… he’s six foot six… she’ll never be the same again.
Dammit! When she was going out with the Milo chappy I still knew I was fine in the trouser department, but now with Wladimir Klitschko on the scene I’m sweating the wedding night a little more. Damned Russians.
My only hope is that perhaps she actually has that ability to regenerate, healing any and all wounds no matter how brutal. If not it could end up feeling like you’re having your way with a World of Wonder Snuggie.
In other news; Her dad can’t look her in the eye anymore.
Heartbreaking news courtesy of The Sun