There’s Some New Punctuation On the Way to Confuse Everybody Even More

Get ready! There’s some FAAABULOUS new punctuation being introduced that looks to make life a LOT easier for bloggers and texting addicts and, well, just about EVERYBODY. Of course, many would argue that we shouldn’t add any more punctuation marks until people learn to use the ones we already have, but I spit on those people. This is FUN! FUN! FUN! (and that’s just ONE example of why we need this new stuff).

First up: The Exclamation Comma (see above pic). Used just like an exclamation mark “to denote excitement, add flourish, and generally lend a statement a certain degree of emotion and emphasis,” but it’s to be placed within sentences rather than at the end of them.

So I would use it in a sentence like: “He was cute but OH! that breath.”

Got it?

Next up: The Question Comma (or quomma). Just like the exclamation comma, but for questions within the sentence. I’m having a little trouble thinking of examples, although I KNOW that I do it all the time.

Maybe: “She wore a purple shirt and, really gurl? a pair of culots.”

Or: “You like that shit don’t you boy? and want me to continue.”

Hmmmm. That didn’t quite work. But you get the idea. (The always adorable Cole Sprouse uses the example: “So what am I? chopped liver?”)

Then there’s the SarcMark (short for “sarcasm mark”), the irony mark, and the wonderfully-named Interrobang (which, HuffPo describes as looking like what would happen if an exclamation point and a question mark jumped into bed together). The sarcmark is a MUST for texters. The irony mark, of course, is destined for the dustbin of history as no one knows what irony is anymore thanks to Alanis Morissette. And the interrobang, which I imagine I’ll be using all the time. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!