Fifty-thousand posts! Can you imagine? It seems like just yesterday that Stephen posted his first post. That was ten years ago. Or ten years and six months to be precise. March, 2004 is when the magic began. Back then, there was no Lady Gaga, no Justin Bieber, no Kardashians, No Zac Efron, no One Direction… so what the hell did we write about? Paris Hilton, I guess. And, um, Hoobestank? I was ALL ABOUT Chad Michael Murray from One Tree Hill, of course. And an inordinate amount of time went into dissecting K-Fed’s outfits and weight fluctuations. Man, what a crazy time to be alive.
Since then, the WOW Report has crafted an incredible 5,000 posts a year. Condragulations to us! When discussing how to mark the milestone, I was asked if maybe I could list my top ten favorite posts of all time. That would be impossible because THEY’RE ALL MY BABIES AND I LOVE THEM EQUALLY. That, and the fact that I don’t even remember what I posted last week, much less have a favorite from 2007. It’s all a happy blur.
I do have our TOP TEN MOST TRAFFICKED POSTS OF ALL TIME. Fascinating list. Absolutely no rhyme or reason as to why ANY of it went viral. As you quickly learn in the blogging biz, some things work and some thing don’t. No matter how many algorithms you study, you will just never know what goes on in the head of the internet-viewing public.
10. “Sex Galaxy: The First Green Blue Film?” The trailer for the world’s first 100% recycled film, strung together from vintage porn and science fiction movies. And I can only imagine this one is so popular because the first word is “sex.” Also: The tags are “porn” and “science fiction.” That’ll do it every time.
09. “Ricky Martin Is a Normal Man!” From 2005, a woman named Geri wrote to Stephen Saban with links to pictures of Ricky Martin’s “girlfriends” proving once and for all that he was “a normal man” and not gay.
08. “Fashion Photo RuView” A relative newcomer to the top of our list, this was the episode in which five fan photos were picked from the World of Wonder Facebook page, and were TOOTED and BOOTED by Raven and Raja.
07. “23 Creepiest Things Ever Said by Kids to Adults” Oh, I defintely recommend revisiting this post. It’s parents telling creepy stories about the weird things their kids have said to them, seemingly out of the blue. (“Mommy, the shadow man keeps talking to me at my window.”) You’ll sleep with the lights on FOR WEEKS!
06. “The Very Attractive and Sometimes Naked Men of HBO’s New Gay Series” The announcement for HBO’s then-upcoming series Looking. Again, not to be cynical, but “naked men” in the headline always gets big numbers. I think I’m just going to start putting that in ever headline. “Kim Kardashian Exits Whole Foods Wearing a NAKED MAN”
05. “Exclusive: Kim K and Ray J Sex Tape Clip” – Shortly after her sex tape, Vivid provided us with an exclusive of the young Kim K talking about how “shy” she was. Hysterical. We only had the rights to the clip for, like, six months though, so don’t bother clicking over to see. It’s long gone.
04. “Breaking Scandal: Woman Files for maternity of Blue Ivy Carter” HUGE numbers for the WOW Report with this story last month. Ummm, possibly I could have mentioned that the woman in question also claims to be the biological mother of Prince George, but you know DETAILS, DETAILS.
03. “All-American Porn” The video box covers from Vivid’s 25th anniversary gallery show at the WOW Storefront Gallery. Our most heterosexual post ever?
02. “Dear Michael Alig” – My advice to prisoner #97A6595 about life in the 21st century (which, sadly, he hasn’t listened to at ALL).
01. “Try harder, honey” – A pic of Marilyn Manson arriving at LAX with “Fuck You” scrawled on his face, which inexplicably went triple viral. Love Maz, but I honestly had no idea his fan base was still so rabid.
And a special shout-out to all the WOW Report writers, past and present: Stephen Saban, Trey Speegle, Michelle Visage, Thairin Smothers, Adam Asea, Blake Jacobs, Sam Kart, Lorie Potier, Tom Campbell, Paisley Dalton, Dustin Romero, Christian Ellermann, Brian Heinberg, Jordan Papadopoulus, Ian Coster, Clancy Cavner, AGuyNamedWayne, Michael Roha, Nate Buck, Kennith Leslie, everyone I’m forgetting, and OF COURSE our guiding angels Tom Wolfe, Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato! (Photos: Pacific Coast News)