Area #5 – Picking Stem Cells – The Landover Baptist Nursery School has agreed to provide over 200 infants on six separate evenings for this exciting demonstration. Participants will enter a large garden area where they will see hundreds of little infants dressed up as stem cells. A Pastor in stilts, dressed in a John Kerry costume will move through the field of stem cells like an evil scarecrow. He will randomly snatch up a half-dozen or so, shoving them under his arms and jamming them into his giant pockets, saying, “It’s off to the lab with you! We’re going to turn you into Botox so some Hollywood liberal can look like she’s been turned into a pillar of salt.” Just as Mr. Kerry exits, Nancy Reagan, in red Adolfo hot pants will harvest a score of beautiful little embryos with a pitchfork, telling each, “You’re going to look swell in Lucite. Stem cell research is leading to the discovery of new paperweights every day!”
WOW Report fan Erin Anadkat reminded us this morning that it’s time to revisit the funny Landover Baptist Church website, a site rich in right-wing salvation, a site that’s been “guaranteeing salvation since 1612,” and that offers the “What Would Jesus Do?” thong for $11.99. But as the election draws near, we like to stick to the issues. And the stem cell issue is a particularly hot one, especially since the death of stem cell-embracer Christopher Reeve. According to an article entitled “John Kerry’s Bloodcurdling Agenda for America,” the Bush friendly Landover Baptist elaborates on the many rooms in Kerry’s Hell House 2004.