Thank you “uhleesuh” for showing me this item on Craigslist.

I see this as a call to arms. I’ve tapped into something big here. Something primal. I call it “Brandenfraude” (German for “Brandon Joy”). O my faggot brothers, the time is now! We must band together! We must put aside our bitchy, competitive ways. If any ONE of us gets him, just once, in a bathroom stall, it’s a victory for ALL OF US. I will organize this! Send me updates. Sightings. News of homosexual advances, thwarted or received.
I’m trying to write an anthem, but can only get as far as:

Brandon
I want to put my hand in
your pants.

If anyone can help me out with this, please send ideas to [email protected]

– James St. James