The WOW Report

  • WOW Report
  • RuPaul’s DragCon
  • RuPaul’s Drag Race Live!
  • WOW Presents Plus
  • What to Watch
    • Backyard Envy
    • Dancing Queen
    • Fashion Photo RuView
    • Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles
    • Ministry of Evil
    • UNHhhh
    • Watch RuPaul’s Drag Race
  • Store
You are here: Home / Misc / The St. James Version

The St. James Version

By Stephen Saban on February 6, 2005 5:42 pm

Thoughts on Super Bowl XXXIX

sleevelessshirt+m17=msex2

Like most people watching the show, I found myself thinking how much I’d like to see Tom Brady and Matt Damon having hot monkey sex. Wouldn’t that be fine? I wouldn’t have to be involved. I’m not greedy. I don’t belong in such a mix, I know. I’m not unrealistic about these things. I just want to be in the room. Maybe Donovan McNabb and I could sit in the corner and call the shots.

Mmmmmm. Donovan McNabb.

Actually, like most people watching the show, I was also having serious towel-boy fantasies involving Donovan, but that’s another blog.

THE PRE-SHOW: Will somebody please fill me in on this Gretchen Wilson character? Let me get this straight – she’s actually PROUD to be an old redneck whore? I don’t understand. Has the world gone mad?

The Black Eyed Peas: As far as I’m concerned, they’re just the new C + C Music Factory. Go away already.

THE COMMERCIALS: For my money, the best was undoubtably the french fry shaped like Abraham Lincoln for Mc Donalds.

The worst? The Verizon miniaturized celebrity debacle. What the hell was that? That’s not funny. That’s not comedy. Monkeys with whoopee cushions – now THAT’S comedy. Similarly, that stupid Diet Coke commercial with P. Diddy and the delivery truck. TRYING WAY TOO HARD HERE, PEOPLE. I get the problem: You’ve signed six celebrities to a commercial, and you have to tie them all together in 30 seconds. What do you do? Well, you DON’T go high concept. Keep it simple. Those T- Mobile Sidekick commercials are classic. Snoop Dogg doing his laundry? That’s gold.

The most disturbing trend? Funny deaths and injuries. The pilot chasing the Budweiser out of the plane? That really upset me. I mean, he jumped out of a plane! HE DIED. That’s just terrible! And the frozen man in the convertible? He’s dead! He froze to death! That’s an awful way to die! Oh, oh, and that Las Vegas commercial with the possibly brain-damaged boxer who doesn’t remember what he did last night? I CRIED.

Frankly, I’d rather have the titties. And titties scare the crap out of me.

THE HALF-TIME SHOW: Paul McCartney looks like an old transvestite. I don’t like him. I didn’t like the Beatles either. In fact, I just flat-out hate the ’60s. As Kent Brockman famously pointed out, “What a shrill and pointless decade.” Just a bunch of damn, dirty hippies. Everyone all hairy and unattractive. Give me the ’70s any day.

Granted, I’m a little cranky right now because I’m withdrawing from a severe Afrin addiction and can’t breathe. That stuff will kill you. I’ve been hardcore huffing decongestants for about four months now. KIDS – STAY OFF THE NASAL SPRAY! Oh, and stay in school.

– James St. James

Show the love:

  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr

Filed Under: Misc

More

#QWERRRKOUT Tuesday: Banjee Broadway Diva SASHA DAVENPORT (Honey Davenport’s Daughter)

#QWERRRKOUT Tuesday: Banjee Broadway Diva SASHA DAVENPORT (Honey Davenport’s Daughter)

by Paisley Dalton on March 2, 2021 3:40 pm

Billie Eilish! Tyler Hoechlin! Tiger Woods! Woody Allen v. Mia Farrow! The WOW Report for Radio Andy

Billie Eilish! Tyler Hoechlin! Tiger Woods! Woody Allen v. Mia Farrow! The WOW Report for Radio Andy

by Blake Jacobs on February 26, 2021 11:39 am

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Trending


The BBC Orchestra Performs “RuPaul’s Drag Race” Hit “UK Hun?”!! Watch

Trigger Warning: Azealia Banks Goes on Berserk Anti-Trans Rant

#Update: Ryan Fischer Recovering in Stable Condition –Gaga’s Dogs Returned Unharmed!

Tom Holland Shows He Has Not Forgotten Leg Day on Pantsless ‘Tonight Show’ Interview

Lady Gaga’s Dog Walker Shot, 2 of Her Bulldogs Stolen, Gunman on the Loose…

About

From the creators of The Eyes of Tammy Faye, Party Monster, Million Dollar Listing, RuPaul's Drag Race, I Am Britney Jean, Big Freedia, and more.

Britney Spears! Armie Hammer! Gorilla Glue Girl! RIP Mary Wilson! The WOW Report for Radio Andy!
Jack Tracy Dreams of a Post- Covid Kiki in “Love Ya” Vid feat. Sherry Vine
Elon Musk! RIP Cicely Tyson! Tekashi 69! The WOW Report for Radio Andy!
Watch Awesomely Queer Singer JOHN DUFF Bust Out a Mighty Fine Pelvic Thrust in “Do It”
Sophia Loren! Elisa Lam! RIP Cloris Leachman & Larry King! The WOW Report for Radio Andy!

© 2019 World of Wonder Productions, Inc | World of Wonder is a trademark of World of Wonder Productions, Inc | Privacy

Copyright © 2021 · News Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in