• SQUEEEEEEEEEEEAL! I saw Jesse Meltcalf, the humpy lawn-boy on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, at the Grove for a matinee showing of THE AVIATOR. He was with a husky biker type (I’m assuming his meth dealer) and his girlfriend (who looks SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE EVA LONGORIA). Now, the way I see it: he gets all lathered up during his love scenes with Eva, the director yells “cut!” and he races off to this chippy in his dressing room TO FINISH THE SCENE. Well, of course.
• Went to the California Institute of Abnormal Arts in North Hollywood for Lenore Claire’s APOCALIPSTICK party. Got some great new ideas for accessorizing my spring wardrobe. Met two really hot guys – TWINS! Male models, I think. All I remember about them is their smoldering, coal-black eyes, and their vacant good-looks. As you can see, my zipper is undone, so draw your own conclusions as to how I ended the evening.
• Of course, I’m still reeling from last month’s L’OUMO VOGUE cover of Aaron Carter. HOW ON EARTH could they possibly top themselves? Well, they did. Check out Chloë Sevigny in boy drag, with a tiger on her head. HOT, RIGHT? She looks like Shaggy hiding under the bearskin rug on SCOOBY DOO.
• I had this ginormous, blackened, oozing boil on my face – I know, I know – disgusting – a bubonic bubble of infected pus – throbbing, bleeding, running down my neck – well it was just awful, you can’t imagine. I had to miss a really fantastic party at the Malibu home of a fashionable Italian actress/director/freak-fucker. Now, if I had just worn THIS, I would have been socially triumphant.
– James St. James