We have the writers back and we are STILL being subjected to this tripe? I am BEYOND ANNOYED at two lame-as-fuck storyline clichés that I have recently been witness to. The first was on LOST last week – when the audience was asked to endure that hoary old bit about “the-deadly-radiation/gas-leak-with-the-digital-countdown-and-the-guy-frantically-punching-in-codes-to-save-the-world” scene that was tired when Get Smart did it. It was tired when Luke and Laura typed in “ICE PRINCESS” to save the world from Mikos Cassadine’s weather machine. And it was already totally tired when Matthew Broderick typed in “WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY A GAME OF CHESS?” with one second left before the bombing commenced. So THAT’S IT, Lost writers. I’m giving up. The time-travelling lab rat was bad enough. But now I am out. I am free on Thursday nights once again to have a social life.
Another unforgiveable cliche is happening on As the World Turns, and it involves Daytime’s favorite couple, Luke and Noah. The poor, sweet dears have only been allowed two kisses in the YEAR that they’ve been together. There’s just been a lot of hand-holding and supportive shoulder-rubbing, but it’s still rather unforgiveable that they SHARE A ROOM at the Snyder farm and STILL HAVE YET TO CONSUMMATE THEIR LOVE. Anyway, yesterday another stumbling block was introduced when Noah married his (adoptive) sister, Ameera, so that she wouldn’t have to go back to Iraq. AND WE ALL KNOW that in soapland, a green-card marriage will eventually be consummated, and cause all sorts of problems. After the ceremony, Luke looked pretty worried, in fact, because he remembered how Noah likes to pretend he’s straight. Really, writers, can’t you just let these boys get it on ONCE, before you start breaking them up with the old greencard romance cliché?
– James St James