Hello LA!! Randy starts things off by bringing a mirrored ball into the conference room, which sets James off on a fierce rant against Madonna, whose recent tour dates in Los Angeles he missed. Fenton bursts in singing “Sorry,” with Steven in tow with a gold balloon from the concert. For a fleeting second it’s exactly like being at the Forum! James has a hissy fit and continues to rant against the poor old Material Girl whose only sin has been trying to entertain us all. James claims she never had that horse-riding accident, but fabricated the story to cover going in for cosmetic surgery. James is furious with her nailed-to-the-cross stunt, which Fenton calls “promiscuous appropriation of MTV postmodernist stuff.” Randy says, “When she’s barebacking the beat, that’s what Madonna’s about.” Talk of Madonna continues ad nauseum.
Blah blah and on to – Oprah. Where was Whitney at the Legends luncheon? James pulls out a list: Where was Gloria Gaynor? Or Salt and Pepa. Or Debbie Allen. More talk about Oprah, her guests, her tears. Her rising status. Anyone see 10.5 Apocalypse? Um. An Inconvenient Truth. Is Mars heating up at the same rate as Earth? Is global warming the sun’s fault? Did James give up aerosol deodorant for nothing? Did anyone see The Da Vinci Code? Marie Antoinette. Sofia Coppola. Gwen Stefani. A few closing words about Madonna, and thank you all for coming.