Recent Manhattanite and longtime wowlebrity Lydia Rendon soldiers on, still invested in the interminable third season of Gossip Girl and continues to send us recaps of the sluggish episodes, bless her, miraculously making the spoiled, rich, young denizens of the Upper East Side seem watchable. It’s almost like she’s… become one of them!
Rejections were running rampant last night. From Blair to Vanessa, no one in the GG group was having a good time. Enlisting Dorota’s help, Blair did her best to de-Chuck her life, starting with getting rid of everything that reminded her of him. Step two: Find a new boyfriend – only this step doesn’t work out quite as planned. Rejection number one: Seems Chuck has put out the word that no one is allowed to date B. Now, I know Chuck is supposed to be all powerful, but this seems a little much. Needless to say, this ticks off Blair and she makes finding herself a new boyfriend her main priority. In order to find a guy out of Chuck’s reach, she hunts down Dan and goes along with him to a party in Brooklyn. Like I said, she is really determined to get over Chuck. B does end up meeting someone, but gives Chuck the ultimate rejection by telling him she’s not going to be like him and hook up with just anyone because when she does move on, it will be for her, not him.
Rejection number two of the night came from Dan and Vanessa, but as always, their relationship drama is so boring it can be summed up in about four sentences. The Dreadlock Queen applied to the Tisch writing program without telling Dan and, in a completely obvious set up, was accepted and took Dan’s spot. She comes clean, and he’s sad but happy for her. Enter a crazy chick who stirs up problems. Some girl who was in one episode way at the beginning of the season likes Dan and wants him in the writing program. She gets V’s application called into question, but Dan sets her straight. Vanessa is mad at Dan because of the crazy chick and rejects his calls. Dan and Vanessa, I reject you both.
Moving on to more interesting people, Lily’s back and so is Serena’s pop, the elusive Will Van der Woodsen. Lily comes clean to Rufus and Serena about her illness which she will only refer to at “the C-word.” The obvious answer is cancer, but Lily is opening herself up to an endless number of jokes if she keeps referring to her illness as the “C-word.” Will explains that he and Lily were working together to fight off her “C-word” and that they are awaiting final test results. Rufus tries his best to persuade Lily to get a second opinion, feeling uncomfortable with Ex-Husband Number One staying in the city to oversee her care. Being a Humphrey, though, he quickly gives in to his role as the house-husband and lets Lily do what she wants, including having Will stay in New York.
One other person who is happy to see that Will is staying in the city is Serena. After years of rejection from Daddy Van der Woodsen, S is looking to reconnect and find out why Will has been gone all these years. He gives her some speech about Doctor’s Without Borders, doing his best while commuting from country to country to spend as much time with the family as possible – and of course stupid Serena believes it all. Little does she know, Will has some kind of plan he is putting into motion involving Lily’s illness with secret phones calls about pills he needs for her. Hmmm, details to come.
Meanwhile, back at the Brooklyn party, Chuck, Jenny, and Nate all show up. Chuck has convinced Little J that she can split up Serena and Nate and have Nate all for herself, which she completely believes. Now, I know she and Serena are recent step-sisters, but Jenny as the S clone just got better. Her makeup still needs work, but it definitely looks like she has invaded Serena’s closet. She gets Nate to start drinking shots with her and, to complete her S-wannabe transformation, she gets called a slut at the party by the crazy chick Dan is with and he doesn’t even care. Bravo! Too bad it’s still not enough to lure Nate away from his sexcapades with S. This little love triangle finally comes to a head and Nate, catching Jenny in her lies, kicks her out. Rejected! Back to square one for Jenny, but at least she got some screen time. The winner in last night’s rejection contest is poor Eric. I still can’t decide if he’s the smartest one on the show for staying out of all their drama or is just the neglected one in the corner that everyone constantly ignores.