WOW mascot Edith, a mixed breed of a certain age, has a few ideas about reality TV she’d like to get off her chests.

I always want to give a woof out to PETA, but now I have to give them a tail-lashing for protesting the World of Wonder series, SHOWDOG MOMS AND DADS, before even a single frame was shot. The series will showcase the unconditional love that dog owners feel for their charges through the prism of the showdog world. The only possible complaint could be that these are people who love their dogs too much. 

This is a recurring theme of my favorite show, THE DOG WHISPERER, National Geographic’s breakout hit. Cesar Millan – now that’s a face I want to give a good licking! – teaches overwrought dogs how to walk across polished marble floors without their owners having to cart round a strip of carpet everywhere they go (for real). While I don’t believe you can be loved too much, as a mutt I must respect Cesar’s no-nonsense approach to neurotic pooches.

I give two paws down to THE APPRENTICE, which featured desperate yuppies molesting (they called it doggie massage) and tormenting (they clipped their claws as if they were debeaking chicks) dogs. Grrr, reality television can be hazardous to us four-legged creatures.

Finally – because my attention dog disorder is kicking in – why are the PETA humans silent about the ethical treatment of contestants on the America’s Next Top Model? (Edith howls with laughter)

– Edith, as told to Fenton Bailey

Photo: Edith watches reality TV, Macaulay Culkin chats on the phone