WOW’s fearless, fearsome leaders, Randy and Fenton, watch television religiously. More television than the lowly lay person can keep up with or track of. Mostly reality series, of course, but not exclusively. And they’ll assume an archly scolding tone when you say you haven’t seen, say, Painted House on HGTV or Girls Behaving Badly on Oxygen. Hello. Not everyone has TiVo. Randy lately has been extolling the wonderfulness of the state of the current season of reality – as viewed through a window measured, on average, 27″ diagonally. “I was thinking it might be fun to plug some of our most favorite reality shows of the season,” he suggested to the Report, “because I think there is some great TV happening at the moment.” Then, knowing that we’d be in next summer’s reruns before the Report did any reporting on it, he wisely took it upon himself to do the plugging.
Trading Spouses (Fox) This show is fab! One of the best produced reality shows I’ve seen in years! Compelling. Freaky. Layered. Wicked. Great to look at. One of the best shows on TV this year. Period! [Ed. note: Totally.]
How Clean Is Your House? (Lifetime) Any show that features a 60-something British lady in pearls, on hands and knees, smelling piss stains on the carpet and bum smells on the couch is worth my time. Expect these women to become huge stars! [Ed.’s kind of show! What channel is Lifetime?]
Growing Up Gotti (A&E) Sick. Sick. Sick. I love it! [Ed.: No comment.]
The Amazing Race (CBS) Without the midget, there is no reason to watch!
Things I Hate About You (Bravo) Watching people who love each other videotape the things they hate about each other is a pretty compelling premise – they just need to lose the format! I highly recommend the episode with the woman addicted to SPLENDA! Splenda on her chicken salad! Gross.
American Candidate (Showtime) Totally underrated. This is a scarily revealing series that sheds lots of light on the terrifying state of American politics! It should be required viewing at schools across the country. Call me old-fashioned.
Man in the Mirror (VH1) Not to be missed. This Michael Jackson story may well be the Showgirls of made-for-tv-movies. On the other hand Showgirls is a genuinely good film. Remember when VH1 advertised its movies by saying that TV movies don’t have to suck? Well, it’s better if they do!
How Clean Is Your House? (Lifetime) I was shocked, shocked, shocked I tell you at the sight of a British lady going down on a stain on the couch, taking a big sniff and declaring whatever it was came from the “nether regions.” Any kind of pooh reference is normally verboten on American TV, but this show wallowed in it! Should be called The Shock of the Pooh. [Ed. says: Less Pooh, more Eeyore!]
“Finally it’s true,” says Fenton. “Television really is FULL OF SHIT! When it comes to reality TV, the next big thing is pooh!” He explains:
After Exhibit A, How Clean Is Your House, is Exhibit B, Detox Camp, the colonically challenging resort where people go to get their innards cleaned out. Coffee enemas, pooh studies. The UK show is a big (s)hit and so is its sequel, Celebrity Detox Camp. Exhibit C is You Are What You Eat, a UK show coming to ABC about nutrition that includes pooh sampling!