Why is it the good ones are always married, gay, or serial killers? This 25-year-old, Daniel Gonzalez, who’s not bad looking and even has an English accent, killed four total strangers in England on one of the clumsiest, lamest killing sprees we’ve read about, especially for a guy who wanted to make a name for himself as a renowned serial killer. “I just thought about doing it, man,” he said, “what would it be like just to be maybe Freddy Krueger or something like that, just for one day.” Two would-be victims successfully fought him off; the unlucky four who were stabbed were variously drunk or as old as 75 and, in fact, two of them were a married couple conveniently at home together. Gonzalez even stopped to buy fresh knives in the middle of his two-day “spree.” Along with serial killing, he also expressed a desire to do some mass murdering, along the lines of a Columbine. Despite his defense of schizophrenia, hearing voices, and boredom, a jury at the Old Bailey court in London took only an hour to find him guilty.