Sit down. Take a breath. Do some stretching exercises.You’re going to need stay calm. You are about to listen to Justin Bieber’s hip-hop desecration of the Christmas classic “The Little Drummer Boy.” If that thought makes you slightly angry or nauseous, it’s NOTHING compared to the roller coaster of emotions you are about to experience. From revulsion to disdain to shock to fits of giggles then back to shock, until a cumulative sort of awe and wonderment takes over, this is perhaps THE GREATEST CAMP RAP CLASSIC SINCE… I don’t know… “Do the Bartman”?… “Rico Suave”?… I personally guarantee that you have NEVER heard anything like this before. When Justin says the phrase “Imma drummer boy so dope” YOU WILL GET CHILLS. The audacity of this little douchenozzle, right? But wait. But wait. It’s sort of growing on you, isn’t it? A little bit? Yeah, it’s sort of fun. And by the time Busta busts out his (rather spectacular) rap, you might even consider playing this at your Christmas party. The pièce de résistance is Justin’s final rap, when he implores us all to be more charitable and change the… wait for it… globe, globe, globe, glooooooowwb. I think it’s my new favorite song OF ALL TIME. And, omg, if we wears a little drummer boy costume in the video I SWEAR I WILL LOSE MY SHIT. I think I love him again. I think the fever is coming back.
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