Friday night’s installment of the revamped, Barbara Walters-free 20/20 on ABC featured a repellently watchable segment on whether gaydar really exists. In a non-scientific experiment hosted by the bushy John Stossel, 10 men were made to mingle for an hour at a kind of mirthless mixer with 30 or so “testers,” who were asked to rate the guys — five of whom were gay — as straight, gay, definitely gay, definitely straight, or don’t know, without asking about their sex lives. The testers turned out to be 60% correct in their choices, picking up on “signals” in the eyes and speech patterns of the men. The sketchy upshot of the experiment was that, yes, gaydar is real — even though the guy who got the highest straight score was gay and the highest gay-scorer was straight.

Among the testers was the probably straight (where was that category?) J Michael Bailey, a psychology professor who has written a book about this very subject, sort of, called The Man Who Would Be Queen (hrumph). He claimed the test was a valid one. He also claimed that all gay men are inherently feminine. He said — and we wrote this down as he said it so we wouldn’t forget — “Straight men tend to move their arms more from their shoulders; gay men do more movements from their elbows down.” And he demonstrated both types of movements for the viewers. Then, shifting a bit in his seat, he said, “Straight men tend to slouch; gay men sit a little more neatly.” So it’s that easy. Also, we’re thinking, if they wax their eyebrows they’re probably gay.

The irony of it all is that John Stossel, with his ’70s, popper-sniffing, leather-chaps-wearing, fudge-packing moustache that makes him look like the electronic-journalist member of the Village People, was the gayest-looking man on the show, which was noted by more than one participant.

(Here’s a link to that guy’s book.)