Stars Are Blind

Sham Ibrahim writes:

Natalie Reid (the world-famous Paris Hilton impersonator) blew into town on Monday and she’s busier than ever! She came to LA to tape a comedy segment on Comedy Central’s Showbiz Show with David Spade and to promote the ABC TV show, The Next Best Thing, which she’s a finalist on. Yesterday, we hung out with Natalie’s new pal David Spade, who turned out to be really cool, really nice, and (of course) really really funny. Afterwards, we went with our favorite jewlery designer, Onch, to the Roosevelt Hotel for Paris Hilton’s dear friend Caroline D’Amore’s party for her 23rd birthday. As soon as we walked up to the door, we saw Kimberly Kardashian, who stopped dead in her tracks, stared directly at Natalie, and her jaw hit the floor. Natalie didn’t notice Kimberly and sashayed past her through the back entrance. Then Rod’s son, Sean Stewart, mockingly chanted “Oh look, everybody, it’s Paris,” and cackled as we walked in. Without missing a beat, Natalie told him, “Don’t get horny!” Stupid-ass Sean and his jockish group of friends were speechless!

We walked over to the pool and Natalie joined Carson Daly and Lance Armstrong for a drink while Onch and I went to the back room for birthday cake with the “it” girl Caroline Gorgeous D’Amore! Caroline couldn’t have been sweeter. She gushed over Onch’s jewelry and actually thanked us for coming! Too bad not all the guests at her party had that level of charm and good manners. We met up again with Miss Natalie, who was sitting right next to Owen Wilson. Owen was featuring that whole 2002 “I’m too famous to shave or shower” look. He had on a black baseball cap and was giving the “I just want to be left alone so I came to the hottest club in Hollywood” vibe to match his wardrobe. Natalie noticed who she was sitting next to, turned to him, and sweetly said “Oh my gosh! I love your movies! You’re hot!” Owen arrogantly rolled his eyes and replied “Yeah. Okay. Great,” and turned away from Natalie. She looked crushed, so I consoled her by telling her what I learned last week: The people you admire are not always as good as the work they do. [Ed note: Wilson might have dismissed her that way because he thought she was the real Paris.]

After the Owen let-down, we decided it was time to leave. We said bye to Natalie’s bff Carson Daly and shook hands with Lance Armstrong. Lance was so cool. He was wearing a black suit and tie and looked so handsome. I felt like I was shaking hands with Superman, except Lance is a real-life hero who actually exists. He’s a huge inspiration to so many people and that part of the night was by far the best. I wanted a picture of him and Natalie, but he politely declined. He said he’s not a celebrity and his mom wouldn’t allow it!

Our night was really fun and I just adore Miss Natalie Reid. She’s staying at my place until Sunday. While I was at work yesterday she washed my dishes and cleaned up my dog’s poop. She’s totally low maintenance, so down to earth, very humble, and very modest. I know Natalie will take her good looks, her charm, and her comedic talent to the next level.

– Sham Ibrahim