I bumped into Colton Haynes in the dairy section of Ralph’s yesterday and he was BEYOND beautiful, omg. His hair was freshly shaved, he had a slight tan, and he was wearing a gray muscle tee. He seemed completely befuddled by the selection of cottage cheeses and looked at me like “please help” – then noticed I was eye-humping him and quickly looked away. I didn’t want to freak him out so I scuttled over to the salad dressings. George Michael and Aretha Franklin’s “I Knew You Were Waiting” was playing overhead, so from now UNTIL THE END OF TIME that’s OUR SONG. We’ll think of each other every time we hear it and smile a sad smile of remembrance, and when we get drunk at dive bars we’ll put it on the jukebox over and over and and get all weepy until security tells we’ve had too much and it’s time to go, buddy. Sigh. What a remarkable specimen of manhood he is.
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