Don’t tell me you MISSED the XFS mixed martial championship on AXS TV the other day? What were you doing that was so important? It was the STUFF OF LEGEND, I tell you! HISTORY WAS MADE! And emotional, MY GOD! When that wonderful one-armed lug Nick Newell beat veteran champ Eric Reynolds (16-6) in the main event for the lightweight title, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. And when he fell to the floor and waved his little flipper triumphantly in the air, every heart JUST BROKE. Then, THEN!, a little boy who also suffered from congenital amputation jumped onstage to give his hero a hug, and the floodgates opened. I’m sobbing as I write this. FLOODS. And if THAT isn’t enough to convince you to watch, HAVE I MENTIONED HOW HOT THE ONE-ARMED FIGHTER IS? He is. You’ll want that stump up your ass, I GUARANTEE IT.