SNL kicked off this week’s cold open with Fox News’ Justice with Judge elated over the Kyle Rittenhouse verdict.
The 18-year-old was acquitted on all charges after killing two people (in a different state) during a Black Lives Matter protest. Jacob Blake, a Black man, was shot seven times by police in Kenosha, Wisconsin.
“Kyle Rittenhouse was acquitted of all charges.
That lovable scamp was put through a nightmare of a trial just for doing the bravest thing any American can do: protecting an empty used car lot in someone else’s town.”
Pirro (Cecily Strong) then introduced Judge Bruce Schroeder (Mikey Day), who had a protective attitude toward Rittenhouse during the trial, including allowing him to randomly select the jurors out of a tumbler so that he would feel “in control”.
“Now, if I may say judge-to-judge, what turned me on the most was how you ruled that courtroom with an iron fist.
Tell us how you did it!”
“Well, it was all standard procedure. That’s why I ordered that the prosecution not use the word ‘victims,’ they were ‘rioters’; and they weren’t ‘shot,’ they were ‘ga-doinked.’
But that did not give my client an unfair advantage in any way.”
“You said ‘my client.’ Did you mean ‘the defendant?’”
“Oh, yeaahhh. Sure. I keep doing that…”
“Well, you do you…”