SNL kicked off this week’s cold open with Fox News’ Justice with Judge elated over the Kyle Rittenhouse verdict.
The 18-year-old was acquitted on all charges after killing two people (in a different state) during a Black Lives Matter protest. Jacob Blake, a Black man, was shot seven times by police in Kenosha, Wisconsin.
“Kyle Rittenhouse was acquitted of all charges.
That lovable scamp was put through a nightmare of a trial just for doing the bravest thing any American can do: protecting an empty used car lot in someone else’s town.”
Pirro (Cecily Strong) then introduced Judge Bruce Schroeder (Mikey Day), who had a protective attitude toward Rittenhouse during the trial, including allowing him to randomly select the jurors out of a tumbler so that he would feel “in control”.
“Now, if I may say judge-to-judge, what turned me on the most was how you ruled that courtroom with an iron fist.
Tell us how you did it!”
Schroeder responded,
“Well, it was all standard procedure. That’s why I ordered that the prosecution not use the word ‘victims,’ they were ‘rioters’; and they weren’t ‘shot,’ they were ‘ga-doinked.’
But that did not give my client an unfair advantage in any way.”
Pirro interrupted,
“You said ‘my client.’ Did you mean ‘the defendant?’”
“Oh, yeaahhh. Sure. I keep doing that…”
“Well, you do you…”
