The biggest bitch in showbiz wants everybody to know he’s totally not homosexual. “If I was gay, why wouldn’t I admit it?” he recently told Tom Bower, the author of Sweet Revenge: The Intimate Life of Simon Cowell. “It wouldn’t harm me, and my mother wouldn’t freak out.” And if Simon’s word isn’t good enough for you, former “glamour model” Alice Douvall has coincidentally stepped forward to reveal she had a six month affair with the music mogul – and once ended up having sex with him 11 times in one night. Eleven times? In one night! What a man! What a completely heterosexual man! Eleven times! Why, he’s like Superman! So to recap: Simon Cowell is an ultra-virile heterosexual sperm-pumping machine, says Simon Cowell and the lady he paid to come forward. (via HuffPo)