We may have the wrong man…
Regular readers of British Intelligence (thats you, Mother) will know that WOW London is not the biggest fan of Christmas. Presents and all are fine, but with Jingle Bells muzak running from October these days in every shop and coffee house, I get a bit fed up with it. Ive also found that Im allergic to Christmas trees, and can you guess whose desk is closest to the enormous one in the World of Wonder London office?! One thing about menorahs – they dont make you sneeze.
But I have always liked Santa. Its a nice idea a kind soul who gives to children; an ideal we can all aspire to. And now the BBC is going to ruin this last bastion of good within Christmas. Bah Humbug indeed!
A new BBC documentary, The Real Face of Santa, is set to dig up the real Mr Claus.
In a sacred crypt in the southern Italian town of Bari, the remains of St Nicholas have scarcely been touched in over 1000 years. Now a forensic pathologist from Bari, Professor Francesco Introna, is piecing together historical and forensic clues to reveal new details about the life of Saint Nicholas. With a team of forensic reconstruction experts he uses Saint Nicholas’ skull to build a facial reconstruction that reveals his true likeness.
Do you think they are going to find a rosy-cheeked, white-bearded, chubby old man? Any chance theyll get a ho ho ho out of him? Not a chance! They will reveal that Santa was, in fact, a skinny, thin-lipped young guy who never ever owned a red suit. And the dream will be ruined for all of us, for good. Please, BBC, let us remain in our own blissful ignorance!
By the way, WOW London, it seems, has earned a new nickname within the world of World of Wonder. Following our posting the other day, all about Britneys “dog” Bit-bit, emails have been filtering through addressed to a Brit-brit. Felled, once again, by our own sword.
– Barry “Brit-Brit” Shaverin