“Why is Star Jones still working?” Randy Barbato asked in an email he sent our way via the Blackberry he scored at Sundance. “She sported 400 karats of ‘bling around the collar’ and it almost succeeded in distracting viewers from the wrinkles in her champagne Escada sack. But alas, only for a minute. The bizarre choker actually acted as a ‘neck-cage’ that redistributed her neck skin to her chin, creating the most bizarre Mr Potato Head effect! Meanwhile, on another note, why isn’t anyone talking about Wayne Newton’s face?”

[Ed. says: Because, frankly, we’re afraid if we look directly at it we’ll be turned into stone.]