We’ve never been a fan of Madonna’s tentative, tinny voice, so we were surprised that we recently gave in and bought Confessions, our very first Madonna album purchase ever, so we could enjoy the pure pleasure of the irresistible “Hung Up” at our house whenever we want. And then we were further surprised to learn we loved the whole effing album (see the video for “Sorry,” the new single off it.)

Then last night at the Grammys…. Well, you saw her. You know. She was fantastic. The star of the show. Everything about her performance was perfection. The voice. All that insane hair. Those thighs. The crazy costume that accentuated those thighs. The way she moved across the stage like an Olympic gymnast, and the tight, muscular choreography and the tight, muscular dancers bringing it to life. It reminded us of the days when Madonna’s performances used to own the MTV Music Awards shows. Remember? Except now her body looks so much better, dammit. When she popped up with the Gorillaz in a projected image (in that skintight costume showing no trace of cameltoe), her silhouette was so amazing that it looked as if it’d been digitally altered to 0% body fat. But a short time later that turned out to be the real deal. After that, the ensuing three hours of Grammys were just inert filler between commercials. (Get hung up)

(By the way, where was all that ecstatic applause and cheering coming from all night? When we were treated to reaction shots of the audience, it always seemed to be a bunch of sourpusses with their hands in their laps.)