Oh dear, I see that Shell Kepler has died, bless her heart. She was 49. Shell played General Hospital‘s gossipy Nurse Amy Vining – easily one of the MOST ANNOYING characters in the history of daytime television. And isn’t that the truth? From 1979 to 2002, she LITERALLY sat behind the nurses station desk and said: “Did you hear about Luke and Laura?” EVERY GODDAMNED DAY. And EVERY GODDAMNED DAY, old Nurse Jesse would say: “Now Amy, stop your gossiping.” And that’s about it. That’s all she ever did. But she was so ugly, and that nose of hers was so piggy, and her voice was so screechy and her character was so utterly unredeeming, that you couldn’t help but grudgingly grow to love her. Kind of. Sort of. Anyway. It’s sad that she’s gone. According to Entertainment Weekly it was due to “renal failure,” and I don’t know what that means, but it sounds like your eyes or your ass, and either way it sounds bad. Poor little Shell. Here’s a really poor quality tribute video to her I found on YouTube. I chose it only because the other tribute to her was done to the treacly, overused soundtrack of “I WILL REMEMBER YOU” and I would never subject you to that.
– James St James