Emo Philips is a character created by Philip Soltanec. He has been playing comedy clubs for 40 years, and he is still touring. Last summer he toured with “Weird Al” Yankovic. This summer he is touring solo.
He has a unique look and on-stage antics, appearing as a fidgety, nervous but highly intelligent individual with an obsession for coleslaw. His comedy, which is self-deprecating and ironic, is often delivered in a modulated falsetto. His early look, described as ”geeky-disco”, his hair with its straight-lined front fringe had been a signature part of his appearance and act for most of his career. But lately, Philips has embraced his salt and pepper spikey grey hair, and a goatee. Philips still does the same sort of comedy, but with a much more subdued persona.
Fellow comic Patton Oswalt remarked on Twitter:
I will never, ever, ever, write funnier, darker, more disturbing, more inappropriate and 100% clean jokes than Emo Philips. Good God.
Here’s the Emo Philip’s Coleslaw recipe:
MY COLESLAW RECIPE
by Emo Philips
1. Chop cabbage into large bowl.
2. Look for green peppers.
3. Drive to store.
4. Choose green peppers.
5. Carry them to cashier.
6. Drive home.
7. Find wallet.
8. Drive to store.
9. Buy green peppers.
10. Drive home.
11. Chop green peppers into bowl.
12. Look for mayonnaise.
13. Drive to store.
14. Buy mayonnaise.
15. Drive home.
16. Mix mayonnaise into bowl.
17. Look for raisins.
18. Drive to store.
19. Buy stupid raisins.
20. Ignore stupid cashier’s snickering.
21. Drive home.
22. Mix raisins into bowl.
23. Look for miserable lousy stupid carrots.
24. Drive to stupid lousy store.
25. Buy miserable stupid lousy carrots.
26. Call stupid miserable snickering cashier a Nazi.
27. Crawl to car.
28. Drive home.
29. Chop stupid damned miserable lousy carrots into damned stupid lousy miserable bowl.
30. Look for finger.
31. Look harder for finger.
32. Look everywhere for finger.
33. See cat scurrying away.
34. Follow cat into new neighbor’s house, surprising him in middle of drug deal.
35. Dive over sofa to escape gunfire, landing on cat’s tail, causing cat to screech and jump up into new neighbor’s face and claw his eyes as he’s bending over the sofa about to shoot you, enabling you to grab the gun from his hand, enabling you to hold the gun on him until the cops arrive, who then arrest him and drive you and the cat to the hospital where the cat’s stomach is pumped and your finger is found and sewn back on good as new.
36. Collect reward of half of neighbor’s property from drug auction, then just buy all the delicious coleslaw you want from a nice deli.