I’ve been enjoying having a peek into the dens, kitchens, bathrooms and attics during streaming broadcasts by the late-night hosts and anchors and pundits on cable news. I spend a lot of their airtime studying their books and tchotchkes. 

Our unnecessarily pale Veep, Mike Pence, came under a lot of criticism on Wednesday for failing to wear a mask while receiving a tour of the famed Mayo Clinic. Pence said that since he didn’t have the COVID-19, and he just wanted to look health care workers “in the eye and say thank you”. The late-night hosts weren’t having it.

Stephen Colbert quipped:

“You can still look them in the eye with a mask! It’s not a blindfold.”

Seth Meyers noted:

“But he might be okay, because looking at him, he drinks plenty of bleach.”

“Do you think if you purse your lips hard enough the virus can’t get in?“

“And Mike, you may not have coronavirus, but that doesn’t mean you can’t spread the other diseases you do have, like, for example, rheumatoid gravititis or chronic furrowed brow or mayonnaise blood.”

Jimmy Kimmel:

“See, he didn’t want to wear a mask because he wanted to look them in the eye and say thank you. What kind of a mask was he planning to wear, Spider-Man?”