WARNING: READERS WHO HAVE A DELICATE CONSTITUTION ARE ADVISED TO SKIP THIS POST. According to police reports two REALLY HOT teenage boys scaled the fence at the posh Renaissance Vinoy Resort & Golf Club and entered the pool area. Once there, the ANGELIC-LOOKING boy on the left, 18-year-old Andrew Harris, “defecated in his shorts, reached into his shorts and flung feces all over the pool… (then) reached into his shorts, grabbed another handful of feces, dove into the pool and smeared it along the bottom of the pool in the shape of an ‘X'” The two teens then proceeded to climb into the hot tub where the police found them a short time later. I think police spokesman Mike Puetz put it best when he quietly said, “I just don’t see what the thrill of this would be.” I don’t quite understand it either. I mean, I GET that teenage boys are disgusting pigs. But what type of feral creature can stand in front of a friend and poop his pants? It just boggles my mind. I could no more poop in front of you than… well, I don’t know what. And I can’t quite decide if this is worse than the Juggalos who took OTHER PEOPLE’S shit out of the port-o-potty to throw at Tila Tequila last week. After all, they were just swept up in the passion of the moment and flung what was already on hand. I can understand that. These two really spent some time on their plan. And what makes it even harder is that they’re BOTH JUST SO CUTE! How can I be grossed out by two little honey-lovers like them?
