Witnesses say Colin Murphy, a 23-year-old Ohio man, was spotted stumbling around a Kroger grocery store in the Hyde Park neighborhood of Cincinnati, slurring his speech and reeking of booze. Suddenly, hestripped naked in front of a male employee, leapt up onto the a scanner at the self-checkout register and emptied his bowels on the U-Scan It.

What a crappy thing to do.

Murphy was charged with public indecency and disorderly conduct and taken to the Hamilton County Jail.

He was later released on $2,000 bail and barred him from returning to the soiled Kroger, according to WLWT.com.

(Wonders a Smoking Gun commenter: “Did the self-checkout scanning machine say: ‘Unexpected item in the bagging area’?”)