The headline screams of #FakeNews, I know, but I found it on NBC6.com, sooooo…..
Police in Florence, South Carolina, pulled over a vehicle with a damaged tail light early yesterday morning, and upon approaching the car, they observed that the single male occupant, 53, exhibited signs of nervousness.
“He was sweating profusely and grinding his teeth together,” said one of the officers who made the discovery. “I asked him to step out of the vehicle and place his hands on the roof. He did that, but he kept glancing in the direction of the trunk.”
Suspicious, the officer approached the rear of the vehicle.
“I detected a strong rotten smell and asked the driver what it was. He told me not to open it and said it was none of my business. I had reason to believe there was something illicit inside so I went ahead and opened it up.”
There, inside the car’s trunk, was a bag full of human penises… over 30 of them!
“I was completely shocked, I have no idea why he’d have a sack of penises and he completely clammed up after we made the discovery.”
Authorities are still investigating how the man came in to possession of the human penises.
And what he was planning to do with them? (Decorate a Christmas tree? Use them in a drag performance? Make cock stew? Mixed media art? YOU TELL ME!)