Researchers at Cardiff University have devised a mathematical formula which tells us the best time for sex.
(AL / T) + (10 x AG) = ST
(SF x G)
AL is for alcohol units consumed per week. AG is for age. SF is sexual frequency per week. G is gender (1.5 for female, 2 for male). T is personal sexual time preference (1.5 for morning, 2 for evening).
No doubt, calculator dispensers will soon be appearing in pub toilets.
– Donal Coonan