There’s a bit of a lawn-care controversy brewing in Ontario, Canada, these days. A scientist from the University of Florida, a zoologist well-versed in fertility and sex changes, says there’s a relationship between pesticides and penis size in infants. “The use of these compounds for cosmetic reasons, just because you don’t want to make dandelion wine from your yard or whatever, I think is inappropriate,” says Louis Guillette. Over the last 10 years studying how contaminants in the environment affect fetal and reproductive development in animals, Guillette discovered that alligators from contaminated waters in Florida had smaller penis sizes than those from a less-polluted lake. “This is important because it is not just an alligator story,” he says. “We know there has been a dramatic increase in penile and genital abnormalities in baby boys.” And silly us thought that a small penis on a newborn was normal.

So in a roundabout way, pesticide could lead to suicide because, In a related story, an 18-year-old student in Singapore jumped to his death because he could not be convinced that his penis was anything but tiny. Even though a doctor assured him his penis was normal for an Asian man and prescribed vitamins, in January, the boy told his mother that his life was “boring and meaningless.” In a suicide note, he apologized to his family and girlfriend for killing himself, explaining that he felt there was something wrong with his body parts. Mostly his head. (t/y Beau)